VASHTIE

it’s so funny how our technological age has forced us to be our own spokespeople. it seems we all changed overnight into wordpressing, tweeting and tumbling madmen. it’s almost as if we don’t exist if we don’t have a digital presence.

i remember 5 years ago when a friend asked me to blog for a community blog-site. i cringed at the thought. “who cares about what i or anyone else does” was my response…which was met with a “au contraire mon frere” (french saying for “on the contrary, my brother”).

i had previously spent an entire life-time feeling alienated and “weird”. that was when weird was not “in” kids. believe it or not, there was a time when skateboarding was “NOT COOL”, listening to THE SMITHS was “GAY”, watching GODARD films was “STRANGE” and wearing vintage clothes meant you were “BROKE” and not fashionable. it might be in style for the moment, but if you were someone of color interested in any of these things a little while back – you might as well have just deleted yourself from society.

i had a small group of friends and a community of people who shared similar experiences and understood me in NEW YORK CITY (which was on of the first things i loved about this city), but as i reluctantly began blogging (and times started changing), i was met with readers whom i didn’t know from around the world that felt akin to me. it was a shocking moment. here i was, a seemingly misfit, meeting kids who identified with me and my experience or just liked the things i liked. even people who fit the physical criteria of bullies i had previously known (bullies that made fun of me for everything little thing and made me feel beneath them) were reading my posts and commenting with positive words.

my mind shifted from the original question of “who cares?” to the powerful statement “people care”. people who didn’t have the voice or platform i did were championing me. if i didn’t want to speak for myself, why not speak for them. especially for young women. what about those girls that didn’t want to dress like a barbie doll, girls who didn’t quite fit the mold or even have the desire to, girls who didn’t have an example of what life could be. when i was growing up i had few idols (most of which were men). either way, i didn’t feel like those people were accessible. or that my life could be anything like theirs.

i felt compelled to keep going, sharing stories, adventures, jokes, inspirations…all the things that fill my mind and life.

i know this sounds grand of me. as i type i’m recoiling at the words i’m writing. it’s funny how our natural instinct questions people who deem themselves important enough to fearlessly share themselves to the world. we’ve all done it to other people and unfortunately to ourselves…”WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU SO IMPORTANT”! “WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL”?! thats kind of funny, actually.

it makes me think of this NELSON MANDELA quote…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

+++++

jesus, i am a tangent master. long story short. yours truly, the ANTI-GIRL, has started something new.

some of you may have noticed a new edition to the blog in the form of video EPISODES. these episodes are the same as my blog posts, except here i get to re-cap my adventures in moving picture format.

i hope to present to you weekly/bi-weekly episodes, sharing the things that i see and do. i hope that it may inspire you or at least serve as entertainment.

and as always, i love it when you guys participate right back. comment with links, stories and more. i mean, “WHO ARE YOU NOT TO?”

+++++
here is episode 3…